Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but that's the last of your wishes and you've now become a genie in a bottle.

I wish my stapler had more of a reddish hue.
 
Granted. You break up with your girlfriend, quit school, and become a beach bum.

I wish people put up their Christmas decorations sooner.
 
Your wish is granted. But, it is 30 Years Old, rusted from years in the water of the Amazon Rainforest, and no longer works. It also has a poisonous snake in the back of it.

I wish I was an American football all-star.
 
Granted. Everyone's life is cut short by 50 years though. If they are older than 50 they die immediately.

I wish that DD would tell us if IndieGirl is coming or not.
 
Granted. The Tea Party takes over all three branches of government and launches the U.S. into a new regressive era.

I wish my phone and laptop batteries lasted longer.
 
Granted, they are destroyed. They last pretty darn long in your memory though.

I wish this wish will be corrupted.
 
Granted. Its corruption seeps into your soul, robbing you of your humanity.

I wish government bureaucracies worked faster.
 
Granted. But it's very melty and hot, and well...gosh, you know cheese just can't be corrupted. Yeah, it's that good.

I wish for no more wishes.
 
Granted, everyone dies! But hey, everyone can co-exist I guess. Well, exist in a pretty darn loose sense of the word.

I wish for a mousepad.
 
Granted... Once you reach the age of 95 you don't age any more but you live forever as a bedridden old man who poos his pants.

I wish that I had worn the right shoes to work today
 
Granted, you wear the right shoes along with that party suit.

I wish that I won't have any problems transcribing the interview I conducted today.
 
Granted. Good luck becomes something that is still relatively bad luck, you all lose your jobs and suffer insomnia terribly and are unable to sleep for the rest of your life.

I wish that University would hurry up and start again!
 
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